Trying to draw pictures for people for Christmas.

It's... a daunting list of family and friends. Wish I could complete that list but it might not be possible.

If I don't finish one for certain people it's fairly likely I will apologize profusely and may offer cookies or something.

mood: busy music: The Birthday Massacre - Shiver

Ah, Monday. The start of yet another week of being a useless drain on society.

I'm really trying to keep my head up and a positive attitude about this situation but it's sometimes difficult. I can't help but feel entirely worthless and frustrated and... well, trapped.

Trying hard to see this as a learning experience. Maybe I have some pride issues I'm going to need to get past. I dunno.

I'm going to call to try to get a deep tissue massage for the hip this week. I'm not sure the doc will be available so this would be the next best thing. Expensive thing, but... I can't sacrifice my health.

Like I said... frustrating.

mood: contemplative

I admit, there are a few people I know IRL who I'm not close to, and wasn't ever really friends with at any point (frequently they are people I know through other friends or family) but still have added on Facebook for whatever reason.

And I also admit, sometimes that reason is "because I can't wait to see what crazy stupid shit they'll do on Facebook next".

You know, like this.



Yeah.

boy is that tempting

tags: lol wat

I am blessed to be surrounded by amazing friends. I have a lot of shit on my plate, sure... but I wouldn't trade this life for anything.

<3

mood: loved

...

what the hell is this shit

Random thought here... well not entirely random as Glee got "Defying Gravity" in my head...

I've never seen Wicked.

I have, however, read the book. It was about eight years ago and I remember really liking it. I don't remember all of it, since it's been a while, but I remember how dark it was and how much I liked that.

And from what I've heard of the musical... um... well, "dark" isn't the word I'd use.

The music is okay, I've really only heard Defying Gravity and I think one other song. But it's just... I dunno. I think I liked the book too much and the musical would seem just wrong to me. WHAT IS THIS CHEERFUL BROADWAY BULLSHIT?

And I like musicals! You know, some.

Hm. I might give it a chance one day but for now I'll be happy with the Glee cover of Defying Gravity and that's it.

I am super nervous about my food experiment tonight, but also super excited. Because if it turns out well, it will be epic awesome.

Oh and... today I am weak... for I have turned on the heater for the first time this year. I couldn't stop myself! All bundled up in clothes and socks and blankets and it was still cold. So I gave in. Alas.

Doctor's appointment went well, it was just a check-up. They took some blood, fretted over my heartrate (she figured it was just elevated due to pain, which is likely), told me if the chiropractor ever needed more x-rays I could get them through the VA and save myself some money. I know people don't hear this much, but sometimes the VA is just plain awesome. Have another appointment in a week or two for mental health, woohoo.

While I was already out and it was on the way home, I picked up some groceries. Diana needed food and I did too, a bit. I've made a decision to try to eat healthier on a daily basis, rather than constant crap. So what I bought is all still cheap, but healthier now. Maybe next time the VA weighs me I won't want to cry. ;)

OH, and since I forgot yesterday... remember that little project I said I was working on that I wouldn't show until December?

( Well this is it )

Okay, now to clean up the kitchen a bit and vacuum. Maybe if my hip will let me do more than that I'll clean up the bathroom too. I'd include the bedroom but I shouldn't overdo it and get myself hurt even worse.

mood: calm

Doctor's appointment.

It's actually cold today.

And it snowed.

It's a sign of the apocalypse, dudes.

Dear some one,

If you fucking never talk to me except the rare family visit once a year when you actually make it over here (and even then just small talk so it's not like we've ever been close) and you don't know shit about me... keep your fucking mouth shut about my life. You don't know SHIT. We share blood. That is the only connection we have. We have never been friends. I barely know you and because of that I would never pass judgment on your life. Being family doesn't give me the right to be an ass to some one I barely know, and it damn well doesn't give you that right either.

Fuck off.

mood: pissed off

I more than made up for the lost sleep of the night before. It helps that it's all dark and rainy outside. Got up at 4... so. Yeah. I think I'm caught up on what my body needed as far as sleep.

I'm actually fairly cold now, to the point where I'm actually considering turning the heater on. Will try to dress a bit warmer and curl under blankets first though... I want to put the heater off as long as I can.

Though, on that note, electricity bill needs paying... a lot of bills need paying... and goddammit I hate this part, but if any of y'all could help a bit... hopefully soon I won't need to do this anymore, but... ugh. Paypal gothic_fairy_01@hotmail.com...

Now I need to go hide in shame and embarrassment for a few hours.

Lover Earth by *shinga on deviantART

Blah. I'm not very good at detailed pretty fantasy work, but... I tried to get that image on paper. It wouldn't leave my brain alone.

Anyway, I've been trying hard to stay in a good mood. Pain is making me irritable and on top of that Diana is doing everything she can to test my patience. Run around, knock things over, claw everything, mess with the blinds, chew on the tree, pull ornaments down, stand right in front of my feet when I try to walk, meow incessantly for no good reason... ARGH!! I love her to death but she's driving me crazy today.

I hope like hell I'm feeling better tomorrow, at the very least so I can handle a toddler-in-cat-form. I swear, half the time the meows mean "NO!" or "MINE!"... such a brat.

Also hoping I sleep tonight... did not get to sleep at all today so I'm still running on the three hours from last night. Yay.

mood: irritated

Washington... it's just a collection of pictures I'm favoriting on DA that remind me of Washington.

Beware... nostalgia ahead.

I grew up in Silverdale, specifically in Bangor Naval Base. We spent a lot of time in Bremerton and Poulsbo, and once in a while we'd go up to Seattle.

I used to go to this bakery every time we went to Poulsbo. I'd get these cookies. Then we'd walk around and we would play and climb on this.

The ocean was so gorgeous. The beaches weren't sunny and clean but they were beautiful... we'd walk around and catch little crabs and the docks were always fun.

I'd spend every day in forests like this. I had a hell of an imagination so I figured they were full of magic and such. Still hard to believe they weren't.

Going to Seattle on the ferry was great... loved watching the water...

And of course my dad was Navy... so stuff like this makes me smile still.

Mt Rainier was incredible. We went hiking around there a few times. I never went to the top of course, but I went close enough. ;)

And the winter... was... breathtaking.

Okay I'll stop now.

mood: nostalgic

Diana's "Cranky Owner" senses were tingling.



She is purring and grooming my arm now as I type.

I also caught her being cute last night

I think she likes me.

Turns out I am in way too much pain to even think about driving. Called to reschedule my appointment and they didn't have anything available until two days before Christmas. Told her to keep me on a waiting list.

Was also in too much pain to sleep. Got maybe three hours in all night.

I am hungry as hell but standing up to cook anything sounds like torture right now. Don't have a lot in the way of snack food but I'll do what I can.

I am just ever so slightly grumpy/upset this morning, if that wasn't made clear.

I still wonder every day what I did to piss off the powers that be and deserve this. Meh.

Moved to the couch in the livingroom, hoping maybe a slight change of scenery will help me get a bit of sleep... eventually.

mood: crappy

Kiss of Dusk by *shinga on deviantART

MEH

ok time for bed soon

mood: blah

lookit I got an early Christmas present from Bobszy :D

(focus on the knife, I look like hungover hell... because I was hungover... yay)

Isn't it cute?? I'll have to take some time to name it a good, proper name.

Like... Pixie. Or Cupcake.

;)

mood: bouncy

I have a feeling this is going to be a lot more fun once my nephew is actually... you know, born.

But it's still fun now.