Last night went well enough. Invited a handful of local people over with the hopes of just hanging, drinking, talking, maybe a game if the mood struck.
The problem was the day leading up to it. Will didn't sleep well that night and ended up in bed most of the day, so I did the pre-party cleaning alone. By the time I was done Will was up and I was hurting, but didn't want to take a painkiller yet.
We needed to hit the store and prefer Kroger over Wal-Mart... Wal-Mart is closer but Kroger is better despite the added time getting there. The traffic was... not pleasant. TONS of road work, very stop-and-go. My mood and pain levels were already a bit heightened and the bumpy jerky ride to the store didn't help.
Once at the store, ALL the handicap parking was full and nothing else was open nearby. Will dropped me off at the door and went to find parking while I found myself a motorized cart.
Three motorized carts... ALL FUCKING OUT OF ORDER.
So by the time Will parks and gets into the store I'm already shaking a bit from frustration and being annoyed at the entire world. Luckily the oldest Kroger employee in history was bringing in a motorized cart from the parking lot, so I just took that one.
The shopping itself was MOSTLY okay, but the store was crowded and I was a bit on edge. It took a bit longer than I was hoping for but we found everything we needed and grabbed something to eat before people arrived and we headed home (with, again, bad roads and slow traffic)
The party itself was fairly low-key. But even with it being so few people I was just on edge all night and so incredibly drained from pain. Every loud noise made me tense, every conflicting conversation on each side made me stressed... a few points in the evening managed to make me feel relaxed and able to participate but by around 11 I couldn't take anymore and I went to bed. People stayed until about 1 but I had earplugs and managed to sleep pretty heavily.
Today I slept in until about 10 (with a brief time awake around 7 or so where I said to myself "fuck that, I can sleep more")... went to hang in the livingroom with Will and Jess for a while. It was a quiet morning, and I appreciated that. Watched a bit of TV, Will fell asleep on the couch snuggled up against my hip... it was nice.
Jess left and we got out the door as well to go to a friend's place for a bit. Again, it was quiet, and a nice time. I was still a BIT leftover-stressed from yesterday but mostly fine.
The plan was to head to Will's sister's place after we left so we could say hi to family that was in town. We got in the car and started heading that way when I noticed Will's breathing getting odd. And figured... fuck... this isn't gonna go well. And yes, I was right. His back pain had gotten so bad we needed to turn around. It was a very tense ride home and I had to fight off a panic attack. We stopped for Thai food and him getting out of the car to walk around a bit helped a lot.
SO we're home now, full of comfort food. Will is feeling better, I'm a lot more calm. Still tense, almost sore from all the tenseness actually, but better. We might watch a movie, I might take a bath before bed. Maybe have a glass of wine while I'm in there. I gave myself this stern talking-to recently about the important of self-care... then Diana gets sick* and I forget all over again.
I'll figure this whole mental/emotional health and balance and self-care thing out eventually.
(*On that note, haven't heard anything today. I'm worried but I figure if something was horribly wrong I'd know by now)